You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

In my past nine weigh-ins, I've had six gains. Luckily the gains were relatively small, so with my three losses the total loss for the nine weeks is still -3.8, but this in no way is cause for celebration because I know I could have done much, much better. Heck, that’s less than ½ a pound a week. Truly pathetic, but only because I know it's due to lack of commitment.

Even though I still maintain that the last two gains were undeserved, in my heart of hearts I know I'm no longer giving my weight loss journey the effort it requires. I'll have a good week and then relax my standards the following week and at this point in my journey, that's just not something I can afford to do. When I began this journey, one or two bad days didn't seem to adversely affect the scale, but nowadays just one off-program day can spell disaster come weigh-in. The sad thing is that I’m well aware of this fact and yet I still choose to make poor decisions.

“I don't feel like going to the gym and you can’t make me!”

“Eating half a pizza really won’t make a difference so dig in and enjoy life!”

“Forget having a nice balanced dinner, let's have ice cream instead!”

Of course, I don't do this all the time, but on the occasions when I do give into these urges I'm not only messing with my weigh-in results, I'm wreaking havoc on my confidence as well.

I'm still losing and am very happy about that and I do realize that this isn't a race, but I’m haunted by the fact that I’m dealing with one major time constraint, which is that I’m getting older by the day and my husband and I would like to start a family before my eggs shrivel up and die. I’ve always had it in my head that we’ll start trying to conceive once I achieve lifetime status with Weight Watchers, but at the rate I’m going right now I won’t reach my goal weight of 140 pounds for another 18 months. Eighteen months…whaaaaaaaaa!!! That means I won't be a mommy for another 2+ years, barring any complications of course. That quite simply is not an option.

At this point I realize it’s probably too late for me to reach goal by my 2^nd year Weight Watchers anniversary on June 1st, but another year and a half of struggling to get to goal? Forget it! It’s time for me to wake up and face the facts. I’ve been lax in my efforts for a while now and it’s showing. Losing weight and getting healthy is essentially my fulltime job, a job that my future family depends on, and it needs to be treated with utmost importance.

Right before I started writing this blog entry, I sat down and preplanned my day for tomorrow. Not only did I make sure I stayed within my allotted WW daily points, but I also ensured that my meal and snack choices were nutritionally sound. I plan on hitting the gym for my aerobic exercise right after breakfast and will focus on toning after dinner. A plan is in place and now I just have to execute it then lather, rinse and repeat all the way to goal...and motherhood.